E I E I O

"Hi!" said the muscular youth. "The sign out front said you needed a hand for the summer?"

The old man puffed on his pipe. "Well," he said, "can you follow rules?"

"Sir?"

"There's a double-trunked tree in the field out back. The earth has been recently disturbed at its roots. Never dig there."

"Okay, well..."

"The attic room is locked. No matter what you may hear in there, never open it."

"That's fine; I hate heights..."

"And I don't speak of my younger days, so never ask me."

"Can you at least tell me your name?"

"They call me... MacGuffin."