The knight brandished his sword. “Milady, I am here to rescue you from durance vile!”
“Oh, sir,” sighed the maiden. “You are not here to ravish me, I hope? My virtue must remain intact.”
“What? No, nothing like that. Just, you know, slaying.” He gestured with the sword. The dragon blinked.
“No ravishing?”
“No. God, no.”
“I see.”
“I mean, ugh. Just… no.”
“I get it.”
“Not in a million years.”
“I understand.”
“Plus, you haven’t bathed in, what, a week?”
“Screw this,” snapped the princess. She turned to the dragon. “Kill him first and then you can eat me.”
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