Apparently What You Want

"These are some of the first off the assembly lines.  Here, for instance, is a mate-scanner.  It will find you someone completely at odds with your personality profile, then administer electric shocks if you try to leave the relationship.  No?  How about this weapon, guaranteed to kill you or a loved one rather than your target thirty-seven percent of the time?  Not that, either?  Perhaps this hand-held assistant: simply push the button to ruin all of your dreams and leave you in the wreckage of your former life.  None of them?  Really?  Odd.  Our market research indicated otherwise..."