Bum's Rush

"Sir, you presume too much. Begone!" He swirled his bathrobe at me.

I sighed. "Jax, man..."

"King Jacksonia, Duke of Pineville and Protector of South Charlotte!"

"You're hallucinating, dude."

"Guards! Remove this wastrel."

"Okay, fine. I'm leaving. But I'm calling tomorrow and bringing you some help." I headed for the door.

Jackson laughed, waving his toilet-brush scepter. "No, not too roughly. He was once a friend. And now, let the joust begin!"

I closed the door and shrugged. My arms tingled with the touch of gauntleted hands. I was absolutely certain I did not hear anything like a whinny inside.

Usurper Bowl

“A rough situation for Richard III. He’s called a time-out.”

“That’s right, Ron. With Emperor Tenmu’s squad as strong as it is, there’s not a lot of options. He’s tried passing twenty times this quarter, but every time Napoleon has swatted it out of the air.”

“He’s got more reach than you’d expect, Ted.”

“That he does, Ron.”

“And they’re off again! Mary is striking deep. There’s the pass. It’s… it’s good! Ooh, and she goes down under Stephen and Edward IV.”

“Look at those crowns fly, Ron. Gonna be some dents to hammer out tonight.”

“That’s for sure, Ted.”