Ancient Arabian Brass

The men are arguing. My shape tonight is female, but plain and dumpy; nothing to excite my targets' interest. I stand, squeezing past the more loutish of the two. I rub the hammered brass ring on the front of my purse across his shoulders, once, twice, thrice. "Sorry, master," I mumble, slurring the word. I am thus summoned and bound.

He ignores me.

"Yeah, I wish my wife was that hot!" the lout says. I smile. I no longer have the power to rain destruction across nations, but I retain my fondness for wordplay. I can smell the smoke already.

Moment to Moment

"Let's start with the idea of an infinite universe, or at least an infinite multiverse, okay?"

"Sure."

"That means that every moment, someone somewhere is finding a magic lamp. They wish for infinite wishes and become godlike rulers of the entire shebang."

"But we don't notice?"

"How long can you play a game with cheats active?"

"Well, it gets boring after... oh."

"Exactly. They always wish to go back to the way things were, and so we never notice these infinite trans-dimensional god-being invasions."

"Wow."

"Now we just find one of these assholes, beat him up, and we're all set."

Djinn Fizz

Browning tried not to stare at the blue, glowing man three seats down. Reese slid Browning his usual Scotch, then plopped a glass before the blue man. He cleared his throat. The blue man sighed and handed what looked like a brass gravy bowl to Reese.

"I wish the glasses were clean," Reese intoned gravely. The blue man winced. There was a clatter and a faint smell of soap. Reese returned the brass object, and the blue man downed his drink in a single gulp.

Browning caught at Reese's sleeve. "So what's he drinking?"

Reese raised an eyebrow. "Whattaya think?"

One of Three

The genie rubbed his luminescent forehead. “This job hasn’t been fun for two millennia, at least.”

“I’m still waiting,” Joe smirked.

“Modern humans are a bunch of smartasses,” the genie growled. His blue-glowing skin gained a faint crimson tint.

“You’re stalling,” said Joe.

“You’re lucky I don’t turn you into a newt. My people used to be gods, you know. You worshipped us. Up until that prick Solomon went whining to YHWH.”

“Just grant the wish.”

“Say it again, more slowly?”

Joe cleared his throat. “I wish that this wish will not be granted.”

“I hate you,” said the genie.

Alone on the Diamond Sea

With a grunt, Jared hauled the net the final few feet. It tumbled, dripping and glittering, into the bottom of the boat. Several rough ovoids fell out and rolled. He kicked at one. It arced out over the water and landed with a splash.

Diamonds again. He picked one up, held it to the light, watched it sparkle.

You couldn’t eat diamonds. No-one on the island had any use for them, once everyone had some to decorate with.

“Stupid talking fish,” he muttered. He sat back and stared out to sea, turning the gem over and over in his fingers.