Hey, guys! The Unidentified Funny Objects anthology series is semi-officially now a series. UFO 2 has a Kickstarter going, and it's running low on steam. Head on over and check it out (and don't forget about the original anthology, too, which contains my story "The Alchemist's Children" among many more exciting attractions.) It's a lovely book with great stories and very, very high production values. I endorse it on just about every level.
To help generate some interest, I am hereby offering up one of my contributor's copies of the original for free. Post a joke in the comments thread here to enter (or just post if you don't know any good jokes, but seriously, this is the Internet; you have all the jokes in the world at your fingertips somewhere). I'll do a random drawing in a week and send that person a copy of the first Unidentified Funny Objects.
If you contribute anything to the Kickstarter for UFO2, even just a dollar, then I'll enter your name *twice* in the drawing. INCENTIVES!
:-D
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2024 Retrospective and Award Eligibility
1 day ago
2 comments:
I think this one might be from Andy Breckman?
There's these two guys locked up in a basement and they're forced to come up with all the jokes in the world. They've been down there for years, they've got these big bushy beards. The first guy says to the second guy "Hey man we gotta get outta here, this is horrible, they only feed us once a day, we gotta get out! Maybe if we sneak a secret message into one of our jokes we can escape or get rescued." The second guy turns to the first guy and says "1669 Evergreen Avenue!"
There’s this class full of kids, maybe eight- or nine-year-olds, and all the rough kids are at the back goading each other: “You do it.” “No, you.” Finally one puts his hands up and the teacher says, “Yes?” “Please, Miss,” the boy says, bold as brass, “I need to do a pish.” The teacher’s aghast: “It’s not a pish, young man, it’s a Number One. Now, off you go and do your business.” And the boy goes off and does his business.
A wee while later another puts his hand up, “Please, Miss, I need to do a shit.” The teacher’s even more shocked this time. “It’s not a shit, young man, it’s a Number Two. Now, off you go and do your business.” And the boy goes off and does his business.
Finally a third kid puts his hand up, “Please, Miss. Please, Miss.” The teacher sighs. “Yes, young man?” “Please, Miss, the boy next to me wants to fart but he doesn’t know the code.”
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