Arbitrary

"This is a very knotty problem," said Beckton, settling at the table across from Glassner. "We obviously come at this from different angles, but I assure you that the company wants an amicable solution as much as you do. That's why we've asked for third-party arbitration." Beckton nodded at the blond woman who sat between them.

She smiled. "I decree you both wear fish for hats!"

"I..." Beckton faltered. "What?"

"Today is hereby Purple Polka Dots Day! Everyone's a kangaroo!"

"What about the union dispute?" Glassner asked.

The woman glared. She swatted him on the head with her pencil. "Excommunicated!"