And Cover Your Mouth When You Yawn

Used to be, when you sneezed, they blessed you. Sneezing meant your soul had fled the body, leaving it vulnerable to demons. Then germ theory came and everyone forgot.

I watched for years as the sickness increased. Not physical illness, but a spiritual plague, the demons multiplying with every pernicious bout of hayfever.

I came up with a solution.

Do you remember the first of Christ's miracles? That's right: water to wine. Win is holy. Alcohol purifies.

Here, have a bottle. My invention. Our salvation. Anoint your hands after sneezing. Listen for the screams of the damned.

Gesundheit. God bless.