Used to be, when you sneezed, they blessed you. Sneezing meant your soul had fled the body, leaving it vulnerable to demons. Then germ theory came and everyone forgot.
I watched for years as the sickness increased. Not physical illness, but a spiritual plague, the demons multiplying with every pernicious bout of hayfever.
I came up with a solution.
Do you remember the first of Christ's miracles? That's right: water to wine. Win is holy. Alcohol purifies.
Here, have a bottle. My invention. Our salvation. Anoint your hands after sneezing. Listen for the screams of the damned.
Gesundheit. God bless.
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