“Well, I’m afraid we’re running out of options,” said Diane, pushing open the door to the back room. It, too, was lined with cages. “These are some of our troubled occupants. Biters, behavior issues, that sort of thing. Some of these guys have been here a long time.”
“What’s this doggy’s name?” asked Lilly.
“I am the Darkwalker,” growled the shadowed form. “I am the end of all life. I will devour this world and every other. Release me and I will slay you quickly and without pain.”
“I’m going to call you Bubbles,” Lilly informed him. “Or maybe Sweetypants.”
Thursday, July 23, 2009
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6 comments:
This giggle me up
This can hardly be called a story
...because? I love to hear criticism, but it helps if you explain what you mean.
It's more like a poem of some sort. You're wit seems clever but there are no true characters, no action, and no change. Therefore, no story. Agree?
Well, I've only got a hundred words. I prefer to set up the implications as much as I can rather than summarize (which is all one could do with a hundred words.) That is, rather than rewrite the story of "Lilo and Stitch," I set up the situation and leave it to the reader to see the shape of the remainder. I could have written five declarative sentences ("The demon didn't like it, but he could not break free," etc.) and had a "complete" story. I prefer it when it's left unsaid, personally.
Plus, that way if you prefer to imagine the Darkwalker eating Lilly and her whole family, you can have that, too.
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