Mightier Than

"At last! The Mighty Pen!" cried Oswald.

"What's so special about it?" I asked. Oswald is usually good for ten minutes' entertainment when he gets wound up.

"It is the master of all spelling and grammar. I can rewrite the very language with it!"

"Everyone does that," I said. "It's called 'linguistic drift.'"

Oswald glared at me. He retrieved a Post-It note, wrote "hair" on is, and stuck it to my forehead.

"What're you-?"

He reached up and added a smooth curve. A "C"?

"Oswald, what-?"

An abrupt weight pulled my head forward, and I heard a distinctly wooden clunk...