Swords and Sorcery

George hadn't enjoyed his first day at Tramford Accountancy.  He suspected it showed on his face as he walked to the subway beside his new supervisor, gray-haired and gray-faced Mr. Erkenwhyte.

When the dragon emerged from the darkened tunnel, squamous and shrieking, George was taken aback.  He'd have been eaten instantly, but at the last moment, he saw a flash of gray, and the dragon retreated with a roar, spurting black ichor from its solitary eye.

"You will learn, boy," said Mr. Erkenwhyte.  "The monsters are always there, and this," he brandished his fountain pen, tip gleaming, "is my weapon."

Father of Lies

When I left Starbucks, I found the Archangel Michael beating the living shit out of Satan. 

"Hey, now," I said.  "Ease up."

Michael sniffed and dropped Satan in a little heap beside me.  I was going to say more, but he flipped me off and launched into the sky.  Angels got wicked backwash.

"Thanks, man," said Satan.  He fussed with his suit, which was burned to rags.  "You realize that was a trick, though.  Now you're definitely damned for sure."

"Okay," I said.  "You want some of my brownie?"

"No."

He took half, and we walked down the street together.

As True as You Want It to Be

The howls of the Unkin grew louder behind them as they skidded to a halt at the edge of the chasm. Ridee glanced at Sulo.

"Well?" she demanded. "Just speak a bridge or something and make it True."

"It is not that simple," said Sulo. He held up the small glass bottle, filled perhaps halfway with shimmering blue fluid. "We're almost out of Truth."

"What? How?"

"All things are rooted in Truth," Sulo explained, "but roots... drink. Pure, unconsumed Truth is vanishingly rare. Better in some ways that we die than live in a universe with no Truth at all."

Wise One

Tiro and Pierce were watching the wizard gardening.  He didn't use magic for planting.  He didn't bring the flowers immediately to full bloom with a fertility spell, either.  Instead, he sprinkled them with water, then stood and walked inside.

"This is boring," Tiro groused.  He flicked through a basic teleportation spell and disappeared.

Pierce crept down.  The old man cracked his door at Pierce's hesitant knock. 

"Why do you not use magic," Pierce asked, "when it is so easy?"

"Wisdom has a price," said the wizard.  "I have seen the true shape of the world, and can bend it no longer."

It May Have Been the Plan from the Beginning

Taku and the Wisest Stone encountered an itinerant monk. Taku asked after his mission.

"I seek Truth!" the monk said.

"That is admirable," said Taku. "Have you found it?"

"Oh, yes. I was gifted with inspiration, and I wrote for seven days and nights until I had gotten it all safely written down. I had pinned Truth to the page. There would never be any doubt again."

"Where is the manuscript?"

The monk grinned, his eyes hollow. "I burned it and scattered the ashes."

"Very wise," said the Wisest Stone. "You don't want to get that stuff on your hands."

Point of View

Truth walked on the stage, and the theater erupted in cacophony. Voices hooted, screamed, and cursed. Men stood on their chairs to shout pleas of love. Others turned pale and fell senseless to the floor. Everywhere, faces were twisted in shock, adoration, hatred, or revulsion.

"What's all the fuss?" asked Chesterton. He lifted his opera glasses. "She's not doing anything. Looks a bit plain, really."

"I think," said the Marquis de Rebeille, "that one's view of Truth rather depends on the angle."

"Blast and botheration," said Chesterton. He peered at his pasteboard tickets. "No wonder these seats were so cheap."

The Secrets We Keep

This is the Lantern of Truth. It illuminates everything you already know. Come, bask in its glow. It will show you no surprises. See your hands, smooth and pink and healthy. See your face, wise and beautiful. Everything is as you know it would be.

You need not see the old man across the way. Do not fret as he recoils in horror, his face collapsing into mingled disgust and pity. He is deluded. He is irrelevant. For you, in your light, are perfect. Leave him to his foolishness. You are unblemished, whole and untouched.

As far as you know.

Contrarywise

"To lie," said the Wisest Stone, "is to create worlds. Each falsehood leads to a new universe, a place where it is truth instead, and in turn changes this world by rendering it impossible."

"Lies such as, 'Stones may fly'?" Taku asked.

"Yes. I chose for this world to contain that truth, and thus made it a lie somewhere else."

Taku pondered as they ascended to the next terrace. "How is one to tell a truth from a lie, then?"

"That is the simplest part," the Wisest Stone told him. "When it never occurs, you know it was a lie."

Belied

"I do not desire this battle!" Sir Rodney swung his sword in a broad, taunting stroke.

The serpent coiled and feinted. "Yet here you are."

"You attacked me and mine, worm." Rodney pressed forward, shield low to guard his legs.

"A necessity. The end is inevitable."

"That it is," said Rodney. He swung, blocked, and lunged, feeling his sword bite deep.

The serpent writhed as it died. "You claim innocence... You plea for peace..." It gasped, a final, rattling breath. "You lie."

Rodney's face was carefully blank by the time he turned back to the nobles and the waiting princess.

First of Many

The Wisest Stone is still suffering from amnesia. I think I'll wrap up this pseudo-continuity next month. Taku is starting to show the strain of having to be the master for so many stories in a row. In the meantime, happy sort-of-beginning of the month! Only two more shopping months until Mirrorshards' second anniversary. What are you getting for YOUR friends and family to celebrate?

"Why is the Weed King so intent on capturing us?" asked the Wisest Stone.

Taku grimaced, sweat rolling down his face. "You called him a wastrel and a mendicant, and demanded restitution for all of the stone and mountains his roots have destroyed."

"Ah," said the Wisest Stone. "And was I correct?"

"Technically," Taku admitted. "But also unkind."

"Hardly relevant."

"One can be truthful without being cruel. Do you not see this?"

The Wisest Stone considered. "If we are honest, we cannot help but be cruel. Life is harsh."

"That is why the first lie we tell is to ourselves."