Miracle Cure

“I’ve done it!” cried Dr. Geisteskrank. “I’ve invented a device which will permanently end all ailments, pain, and suffering a given subject may be enduring, and prevent future incursions, to boot!”

“It looks like a guillotine,” said Bartlett. “I think they already invented that.”

“I’ve repurposed it,” said Geisteskrank. “It is sufficiently altered from its original form and intent.”

“It doesn’t kill people anymore?”

“Well, how else are you going to ensure complete lack of further discomfort?”

Bartlett rubbed at his temples. “I think I’m getting another migraine.”

“Ah!” said Geisteskrank. “Good news!” He patted the polished wooden frame enticingly.